part of me wants to do really well in school and get an amazing job and the other part of me just wants to lie on the floor and do nothing ever because i’m gonna die in the end anyway

(via pizza)


"It’s a metaphor, see. You put the bacon thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the…um…well, you eat it, actually, ‘cause it’s there and you’re nearly tasting it. So it’s not a metaphor. Um. I have no idea where I was going with that. Want some bacon?"

Denny's, you need to stop trying to make successful text posts.


I know, we don’t even have to try. We’re just that good. But thanks for the input! Stay thirsty.

Denny's, I'm really scared about your overall sanity right now.


Our overalls are perfectly sane and the mental health of our work garments is, frankly, nobody’s business but theirs!